Goldenarticles articles

Men and grief - grief-loss


Men afflict in your own way from women. Our cultural roles make it arduous for men to look for support, and harder again to acknowledge it. Men are so often silent, friendless mourners who dunk themselves in action and private, symbolic rituals. They feel profoundly, but often can't definite the depth of their loss.

A man is assumed to be "strong," to support, to cope, and to plan in the repercussion of loss. His own pain must be put away.

Grief doesn't discriminate connecting gender or culture. Our circle has sited clear expectations and chuck upon our roles as men and women. Boys learn abruptly what behaviour is painstaking inappropriate all the way through such statements as, "Stand up and take it like a man. " "You're the man of the house," and the insidiously cruel "Big boys don't cry. "

Male grief tends to have four main characteristics.

1. Moderated feelings
Men have deep feelings but don't communicate openly, a more at once obtainable ambiance is anger. Men deal with their real feelings by redirecting their energies.

2. Cognitive Be subjected to
Men work more with cognitions explanation their grief or with problem-focussed strategies that help them adapt and protect.

3. Problem-Focussed Activity
Men may adapt to loss by doable hands-on conclusion solutions to troubles allied with the loss.

4. Appeal for Solitude
Men don't seek assist groups. They want to master their own feelings and also consider the more doable behaviour concerned in adapting to a loss.

Societal Anxiety on Men
Men are likely to be "in control" of life's hassle and have to give in to the subsequent burden citizens has located on them. They're anticipated to :-

· linger emotionally and physically strong
· at all times be rational
· don't cry or openly mourn
· don't ask for aid or affection --- be self-sufficient
· linger as non-expressive as doable
· provide, not develop
· shake hands, don't hug.

These generalisations carry on to hold their power over men in pain. Let's take the old myth about crying. The truth is it takes a truly beefy man to be able to cry. Acknowledging that each of us afflict in very altered ways can allow men to cope with loss and pain using their own a choice of coping methods. We all be sad even with our gender, race or culture. We afflict as we have loved and, because of our journey, we can be healed.

Tears are a gift
Grieving men need to hear that their tears are a gift to help their healing. Men have historically been fobbed off and denied this critical gift. We need to open up to how men be sad and start allotment feelings and feelings in a more meaningful, encouraging way.

The realisation that grief can be a constructive, medicinal process, which can be common with others, can inspire us all to be intentional in our grief process.

Susanna Duffy is a Civil Celebrant, mythologist and grief counsellor. She is a architect and guide of Rites of Passage for not public ceremonies and civic functions. Website: http://celebrant. yarralink. com


What I Learned About Resilience in the Midst of Grief  Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley

The blindside wipeout of grief  Minneapolis Star Tribune

The Five Stages of Earring Loss  The New York Times

Why Are We Afraid of Grief?

MP CM expresses grief  United News of India

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