Men and grief - grief-loss
Men afflict in your own way from women. Our cultural roles make it arduous for men to look for support, and harder again to acknowledge it. Men are so often silent, friendless mourners who dunk themselves in action and private, symbolic rituals. They feel profoundly, but often can't definite the depth of their loss.
A man is assumed to be "strong," to support, to cope, and to plan in the repercussion of loss. His own pain must be put away.
Grief doesn't discriminate connecting gender or culture. Our circle has sited clear expectations and chuck upon our roles as men and women. Boys learn abruptly what behaviour is painstaking inappropriate all the way through such statements as, "Stand up and take it like a man. " "You're the man of the house," and the insidiously cruel "Big boys don't cry. "
Male grief tends to have four main characteristics.
Cognitive Be subjected to
Appeal for Solitude
Societal Anxiety on Men
· linger emotionally and physically strong
These generalisations carry on to hold their power over men in pain. Let's take the old myth about crying. The truth is it takes a truly beefy man to be able to cry. Acknowledging that each of us afflict in very altered ways can allow men to cope with loss and pain using their own a choice of coping methods. We all be sad even with our gender, race or culture. We afflict as we have loved and, because of our journey, we can be healed.
Tears are a gift
The realisation that grief can be a constructive, medicinal process, which can be common with others, can inspire us all to be intentional in our grief process.
Susanna Duffy is a Civil Celebrant, mythologist and grief counsellor. She is a architect and guide of Rites of Passage for not public ceremonies and civic functions. Website: http://celebrant. yarralink. com
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